Choose Your Words Wisely!


Guest Post By: Dr Tabinda Habib

Your words convey massive weight, more than you contemplate. They frequently influence individuals for many years. They can cause someone to progress or fail!


When I was seven years old, my eyesight was detected to be weak during the routine medical check-up at my school. My mom was sent an official letter from the school doctor to get in touch with an eye specialist for further evaluation.

My mom took me to the best eye doctor in town who assessed my vision and referred me to an optometrist who prescribed eyeglasses for me.

I recollect how I walked into my classroom the very next day wearing a pair of eyeglasses and slipped into the nearby open seat, the other kids quickly glanced at me, made funny faces and then giggled. I could sense my face getting rosy with humiliation. Lastly, one of the kids broke down the stiffness and gawkiness by declaring “Girl! You have four eyes!”

I was embarrassed and ashamed and did not have the least idea what to say. I wanted to yell, but I was able to giggle a bit as if the remark had not really upset me, even though it did.

Every single day from then onwards, I would gaze at myself in the hand mirror; all I could perceive was a pair of eyeglasses which seemed to subdue every other aspect of my face.

As I grew older, my eyeglasses stopped bothering me, but it took thirteen years to become comfortable wearing them.

~It simply goes to show how influential words can be. A thoughtless word can affect or skew somebody’s existence for the forthcoming years.


Some years ago, I disagreed with somebody at work whom I considered to be an agreeable colleague. My other colleague kept asking me about the situation out of unpretentious worry, but I had no answer. It seemed as if she had taken pleasure in bothering me and starting tiffs.  One day I was so upset that I went straight to her and started calling her insulting and abusive names, besides raising the same matter for the argument again.

To my astonishment, she didn’t answer me. I thought I had won; I’d had the final remark in the argument. However within myself, I knew that I was wrong. Insulting her was not how I desired to express myself, I never relished using abusive language; no one does. “Oh good Gosh!  why on earth did I let my hurt feelings take over and attack her.”  What’s more, the very next week, the administrator of the organization called me into his office and handed me a letter of demotion, and told me that my buddy had left her job merely because of me!

If only I had listened to my senses and been heedful, I could have dealt with the situation in a different way. Maybe, my buddy who had been divorced two times and had no child had a lot of pain in her life; something might have been disturbing her.

I regretted how I had reacted.

 ~When you are individually confronted by somebody, it is solely your prerogative to decide to ignore their remarks and actions. They must be unhappy, and that is the only reason they are conducting themselves in that manner. A gratified and relaxed individual would never behave that way.


Recently during my travels, I reached my hotel in Kandalama Srilanka at three am. Being acquainted with the fact that I had to be up to attend an executive meeting at 7.30 am. I stayed at the front desk for a full half  hour; the receptionist hunted for my name in his computer. Not only was I dead tired but it seemed as if he could not read English well. I could sense the annoyance collecting inside me, and before it could kick off to turn into anger, I used sign language to ask him to call some senior person who could understand and speak English. He sensed the gravity of the situation and disappeared into another room. After a pause of another twenty minutes or so, a smiling lady emerged and greeted me.

With great effort, I managed to control the anger that had built inside me and composed my voice to tell her “I understand the delay, but I’m tired and I need to get some rest. I have an early morning meeting.”

Simply controlling my anger and using my words cautiously made the whole situation seem more agreeable. The smiling lady watched me in bewilderment and gave me with a big grin. I grinned back.  The disturbing anger that had been developing within me cooled off straight away.

~I realized that if you aspire to transform the pattern of your life, one vital thing that can alter it  -is carefully choosing the words and expressions you use.


Also see “The Power of Words” by viewing the 2015 Toastmasters World Champion of Public Speaking; Mohammed Qahtani

Read more articles by Dr T. Habib 


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